Movie Review: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
New Line Cinema Film Stars Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner
Apr 30, 2009
It's common knowledge by now that any creative thinking in Hollywood risks being pummeled into a bloody pulp by well-meaning movie executives who think spritzing roses with Lysol will help them grow (thank you, Harlan Ellison).
But if you're going to rip off a classic, at least do it well.
This is not the case with Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, a rom-com take-off on Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol that stars Matthew McConaughey as a playboy Scrooge character. It's an unfunny comedy with a misogynistic subtext.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past Stars Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas
Corbin Mead (McConaughey) is a handsome phoographer who will break up with 4 women via conference call, but charming enough that he can seduce a 5th while doing so.
He's asked to be the best man for his brother Paul (a pallid Breckin Meyer) who's marrying the woman he loves (Lacey Chabert in full bridezilla mode). Of course, Corbin thinks that marriage is for idiots, which he loudly proclaims at the rehearsal dinner before making a pass at the bride's mother (Anne Archer) and setting up an assignation with the only bridesmaid he hasn't nailed yet.
It doesn't help that Jenny Perotti (Garner), Corbin's secret love, is also at the wedding and she's unimpressed with his philandering ways.
That night, Corbin is visited by his man-whore mentor, the long deceased Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas, playing the Marley role). Wayne informs Corbin that he will soon be visited by 3 ghosts, who will take Corbin through his life, and show him exactly where he went wrong.
What follows is a painful exercise in comedy, laced with misanthropy.
The first problem with this film is that nearly everyone – other than McConaughey and Garner – are playing caricatures, not characters. The women are either slutty, neurotic or some combination thereof: a trio of brainless bridesmaids (Rachel Boston, Camille Guaty and Amanda Walsh) get the worst of it, as Jon Lucas and Scott Moore's script humiliates them at every turn.
As far as the guys are concerned, the less said about Paul's nerdy groomsmen or the Korean War veteran father-in-law, the better. You can almost feel them wince as they embarrass themselves on camera.
McConaughey has spent the larger part of his career squandering his talent in 2nd-rate rom-coms and this is no different. It's a shame because the guy can act: he does an excellent job of playing his character's arc from rogue to repentance, and he has great chemistry with Garner. Their scenes sparkle with wit; it's almost like they're in a different movie when they're alone together.
However, the rest of the flick is rife with contrived pratfalls and strangely muted "lessons" on true love. It doesn't help that the other couple in the film, Meyer and Chabert, have zero chemistry together, marring Corbin's eventual attempts to ensure that the wedding actually happens.
The Final Analysis
This could have been a good film, if someone had approached this concept with some class as opposed to diving below the lowest common denominator. Garner and McConaughey display great chemistry and this movie hits another level when it's just the two of them. However, the rest of the film is an embarrassing, misogynistic mess.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past gets a 3/10.
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