Zach and Miri Make a Porno is the newest film by Kevin Smith, and after watching it, one wonders why no one imparted that little pearl of wisdom upon him.
Rogan and Banks Star as Zach and Miri
Zach and Miri tells the story of two best friends and roommates, Zach (played by Seth Rogan) and Mirium, a.k.a. Miri (played by Elizabeth Banks). This friendship is fraught with implausibility. For example, it seems unrealistic that any man and woman could maintain a life-long friendship, and even live together, without ever straying into a physical or romantic relationship. This seems even less realistic when the man is something of a sex fiend, and the woman is a pretty, vivacious blonde, as is the case with Zach and Miri.
It seems equally unrealistic that two people could continuously blow off playing their bills, and yet be completely surprised when their utilities are shut off and they are suddenly facing eviction.
Yet that is the case in Zach and Miri. The two best buds find themselves in dire straights at the same time they meet a porn star named Brandon (played by a scene-stealing Justin Long), who explains how lucrative a career in pornography can be. Anyone who wonders what will happen next should refer to the movie’s title.
Some Familiar Faces from Other Smith Films
And so it is that Zach and Miri must assemble a group of admittedly charming oddballs, including porn star Lester, played by Jason “Jay” Mewes, and a woman known only as “Bubbles,” played by real-life porn star (or at least former porn star) Traci Lords. With the help of photographer Deacon (played by Jeff Anderson, who played Randal in Clerks and Clerks II), Zach, Miri, and their friends go about making their porno.
Everything gets understandably silly from here, beginning with montages in which the characters build their sets and try on costumes, having decided to make their film a spoof of Star Wars. There are many humorous moments, including pretty much any scene including Jason Mewes, who is in rare form. Smith made a good choice, not only in including Mewes, but it allowing him to break out from his role as Jay (Smith himself, as “Silent Bob,” is also absent from this film). As Lester, Mewes doesn’t have much to do, and his role is not particularly important, but he makes the absolute most of everything he is given.
Smith's Movie Just Doesn't Work
Unfortunately, Smith tries to inject a love story into the mix, and that’s where things fall apart. Some fans might disagree, claiming that the romance that arises between Zach and Miri seems legitimate. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, but one must consider all the things that don’t make sense about this. It’s improbable enough that the two friends were never attracted to each other before. It’s even more improbable that they don’t believe that (ahem) appearing in an adult film together will change their relationship. It is least probable that, overnight, they would go from being platonic buddies to being absolutely in love. And Zach’s sappy “I love you” speeches to Miri at the end of the film are even cheesier than Dante’s proposal to Becky at the end of Clerks II.
If this wasn’t bad enough, the film comes off as shamelessly geared towards men. Specifically, there are plenty of scantily-clad blondes running around, but what do women get to look at? There is a naked Jason Mewes, which is nice, but what else? A chubby, sloppy, shirtless Seth Rogan? Whop-dee-do. Couldn't he at least have gotten a haircut before making this movie?
In the end, Zach and Miri has funny moments, and even one or two hilarious moments, but it falls flat. A movie cannot rely on both toilet humor and a sappy, conventional romance plot. Correction: Judd Apatow can make this formula work, and does, in movies like Knocked Up. But for Smith, this is a hit and a miss.
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